The daily work routine, loading and emptying the dishwasher, doing laundry, taking the dog for a walk, washing hands, keeping a smile or a good thought, reading in the sunshine, listening to music. These, among many other things, would be considered, at best “small things”, that is to say, about 4 weeks ago would have been considered small things, done mostly without thought, sometimes (many times, in fact,) almost done with a spoonful of resentment, tasks, chores, worrying about what I don’t have, or trying to get something I “want” to have all got in the way of realizing that these simple “small” things are what, when put together, make up so very much of the joy of life and living.

While I’d love to have my own jet to never fly commercial again (although I can almost guarantee that after this current scenario it will be a very long time before I complain about airports and traffic), my beloved waterfront house in Maui, a pied-à-terre in Napa Valley and NYC, those are all things that (a) are unlikely (powerball not withstanding) well outside my reach and (b) see “a” a result of choosing a career in teaching, as opposed to the rapidly rising Wall Street job I left in 1997 after it almost gave me ulcers. These small things, these days, have given me the time and the real opportunity to think about the big things I have: Here’s a small list 

• A wife who I love, who is my best friend and partner in everything
• My health, (albeit after years of abuse thanks to some gifted surgeons both in orthopedics and bariatrics)
• Two wonderful children, both of whom have spouses who make their lives all the better
• Four granddaughters who, this has been a clear reminder of, I don’t see nearly as much as I should (“you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” once wrote Joni Mitchell)
• A warm, comfortable, well decorated (thanks to Susan) home that while old and frequently annoying, is currently our very own fortress of solitude.
• Abbey THE dog, who never seems to be anything other than joyful and happy to be with her people (ok, she does bark at EVERYTHING and mostly at the most inopportune times but that’s the small stuff not the big stuff)
• Friends, acquaintances, students (current and former), all of whom continue to add joy to each and every day.
• Incredible memories of times spent with folks no longer with us well prior to this mess. My parents who really allowed me to find my own way, encouraged me without pressing, allowed me to make screwed up choices that I learned from (I hope anyway). Uncle Dominic P. Starace who really showed me what joie de vivre represented, and who largely shaped my future in so many ways. My maternal grandparents, both amazing cooks (my grandfather a chef by trade, my grandmother the archetypal home grown Sicilian cook) in another example of avoiding “adventure” I didn’t realize until well after he was gone how amazing his food was (but I did appreciate his slipping some of his homemade wine into my soda as a very very young man). He also was an opera fan, and while it’s only now, at 67 that I’ve begun to really listen to that, I also have the most vivid memories of Carlo Babuder singing loudly during the sunday family meal we’d almost always have together.
• Equally incredible memories of folks still plugging away. Aunt Irene (Dom’s wife) who reached out just yesterday, to check in on ME…something I should have done the other way (small things becoming big things)
• The unbridled joy of still doing what I have enjoyed doing (for the most part) for the past 44 years. Getting up each day and spending time with young folks who always demand the you put your best foot forward (even if they don’t realize they are doing that), yup, as mentioned before that choice has kinda put off the other things I’d love to have but, in the end, even if it were possible, I wouldn’t do it any other way.
• Still wanting to and being able to be active. To run, to walk, to golf, to swim, still wanting to surf again someday…..

I could keep populating the list but I’ll let it end for now, and simply fade off with a final thought. We all have people we know who are struggling in so many ways, health, money, loneliness, take a minute to think about them and how being there in some way for them will take your small things and elevate your joy from small to BIG…We will get through this and we will hug and laugh together again!!!