“Oh we never know where life will take us
I know it’s just a ride on the wheel.
And we never know when death will shake us
And we wonder how it will feel…”

In July of 2015, I took the gigantic leap and after most of 6 decades of being corpulent (a few years back in my late teens where I was swimming and body surfing every day were the exception) had sleeve surgery with the hopes of starting life anew. I was inspired by a friend who had done it. I met with Dr. Neil Floch who patiently answered all my questions and explained the process and what to expect and so the die was cast. The preparation sucked, but the surgery was seamless and the long term result now, 6 years later, has been remarkable. No more sleep apnea, no more medical worries (outside, of course, of age). Exercise, activity, energy and joy all at the top of the list.

A very special by product of the association with Neil was the opportunity I was offered to contribute to the newsletter the practice produces. That offer came from another very special gentleman, Burton Zaretsky who I found out later was Neil’s father in law.

Our association began with a monthly request for a piece, sometimes with a theme sometimes simply free wheeling. We were in contact more frequently as the years went on and I began to send him links to this very blog. He was constantly complementary and more than that encouraging. It is largely because of him that I have continued this exercise, there is not a time where I sit down to write that I don’t think of what he might think about it.

Through the Covid lockdown we exchanged frequent emails about all kinds of things, this in addition to articles and blog posts. We could not be more different in terms of political views yet we shared the ability to engage each other with thoughts and conversation devoid of judgement, just a refreshing exchange of ideas between a couple of old guys. We shared our love of music (again far different tastes but music is music), the ocean (both of us having spent many formative years on Long Island) and were both terribly excited about the prospect of the vaccine to help end the “mess” as we both frequently referred to it. Around the time I received my second dose in February, we began to plan a celebratory steak dinner (another common love) when he was fully vaxed and things would hopefully “open up” again.

A couple of weeks ago I sent him an email with my latest blog post and I didn’t hear from him. My experience was that he would reply almost immediately. Then last week I sent him another and was waiting for the latest article request. I had told him two months ago that we we had sold our home and were planning a move to Bluffton, SC and that things were emotionally at a low ebb due to the recent loss of my father-in-law and the dramatic changes in our lives, so I thought he might simply be giving me a lot of space.

When another week went by I reached out to Neil and while waiting for a reply went down the rabbit hole of googling his name….and there it was….a notice from a place in Long Island about his passing.

Just like that.

Neil did reply and filled me in and the sadness set in. Keep in mind that we have only met in person two or three times and those were for scant minutes, that said, there was a gentle quality to Burt’s spirit that somehow made me feel that we had been friends for a very long time.

There are people you come into contact with who leave a profound positive impression on your. Burt was one of those very special people…While I will miss my friend, I will never forget him and will strive not to disappoint him with anything I write moving forward.

“Life’s so fragile and love’s so pure
We can’t hold on but we try
We watch how quickly it disappears
And we never know why

But I’m ok now
Goodbye my friend“

[song lyrics courtesy of Karla Bonoff]