2016 – 2020 were alarmingly upsetting on so many levels. It has nothing to do with the two major parties, there has always been a difference between them and there will always be, honest debate and difference of opinion is not only healthy, it is how society grows and learns from each other. The cataclysmic shift that happened is still something that I cannot grasp. Someone with absolutely no qualifications of any kind of successful, honest leadership threw open a door to things that have always existed in the good old US of A, but seemed to have been relegated to a substantial minority.

I was very fortunate to have had an outstanding education, albeit in Catholic schools from the 1st grade through high school. It was incredibly rigorous in terms of academics, but it also contained things that today, one would not expect from such a background. We were in St. Brendan’s, of course, well schooled Catholic philosophy and beliefs and in elementary school (grades 1-8, there was no “middle school” or “junior h.s. in those settings back then) it was hammered home that ours was the “one true religion” and that anyone not following those precepts were to be eternally damned to hell. Cardinal Spellman HS was a different story. Yes, religion classes were required each year, but there was no emphasis on the damning to hell, there was a full blown inclusion of other belief systems with comparisons about the similarities (Espiscopals were referred to as “catholic lite”) and the differences (Jewish Kosher practices, for example, were explained from a historical perspective as well as from a biblical belief aspect). We were also always encouraged to think for ourselves, and to not blindly follow something or someone without a mountain of evidence that we could be comfortable with. We read all manner of literature across the four years, many of which are on the “banned” list today. We laughed at the possibility of Fahrenheit451 being anything more than science fiction. The nation’s foundation based upon slavery was covered extensively, and I suspect that had we known as much as we know today, it would have gone into even more depth, but for its time it was incredibly comprehensive.

We were encouraged to be empathetic and to look for the good in every situation. There were significant consequences (yes, including physical punishment) for name calling if it was discovered, and the jocks coexisted with the nerds who shared lunch with the musicians and the theater folks. We were taught that you could not form a reasonable opinion on a matter until you learned about it, about what caused it and what the ramifications were. We were taught that the rise of Fascism in the 30’s were mostly economic and that singular “charismatic” leaders took advantage of the situation and not only the Holocaust but the death of tens of thousands on both sides was directly due to these leaders.

We were also taught that good overcomes evil (there’s that catholic undertone again), and that we were now moving further and further ahead. Civil Rights laws, desegregation, the beginning of the recognition that “all men are created equal” should really read “all people are created equal” and that women were as capable as men on every front.

I’ve lived through JFK, RFK, MLK, being killed, Manson, Son of Sam, Vietnam, 9/11, and currently the ever growing mass shootings, yet until 2016 I was never afraid for the nation. I did think that 2020 was a glimmer of hope and a wake up, yet then 1/6 happened and today that same person, the one who encouraged it, is back like the Master from the Hellmouth in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

We are again subjected to daily missives of name calling, threats (both direct and couched), and the real possibility that the nation I have been so lucky to live in for 71+ years is at risk of dying in the darkness. I have many personal fundamental disagreements with Liz Chaney, Mitt Romney, et al, I didn’t really support either Bush or Regan, I did vote for Nixon one of the two times he ran, but at no time was I ever worried even with RMN, that the foundation of our nation was at risk. I cannot say that today and it is, as it says in the title, mind numbingly confusing. Every administration inherits problems, but when a candidate is so “feared” by those currently in power that they can dictate a negotiated compromise cannot go forward since it doesn’t benefit HIM, you can only shake your head. If you are thoughtful you will find problems and flaws in every single administration from George Washington through Joe Biden, however there is really only one of those administrations that has and continues to orchestrate a change from a democracy to a fascist dictatorship.

Democracy Dies in Darkness….we can only hope that there is enough light left to keep that from happening before history is rewritten for good…as close as we are now to the Handmaid’s Tale, let’s hope we never get to where The Man in The High Castle is anything more than fiction.