It’s been a dark few weeks, the loss of Abbey THE dog still lingers, though it’s easier to think of her and to look at the pictures and the memories. I still take something of hers with me when I go for a walk. The state of the nation is an ongoing daily series of gut punches. I am walking a very fine line between wanting to avoid it at all costs, but also knowing that is exactly the wrong tactic. Awareness, coupled with being as vocal about the dire circumstances and doing all I can to raise awareness of the incredible self centered, “mine, mine, mine” mentality without an ounce of regard to humanity currently pretending to govern a nation that exists because of the opposition to being ruled by Kings demanding only fealty. The attacks and threats on a free press, on the arts (really…a fool who thinks capital letter tweets represents “art”, installing himself as the head of the Kennedy Center for the arts simply because of his fear that they might greenlight something critical of him). It is already as if the NYTimes whose masthead once proclaimed “All The News That’s Fit To Print” has become NYPravda. The Washington Post, yes the Wapo that broke Watergate is now censoring cartoonists to the point of having them resign on principal, something that neither publication seems to have any longer.

The hard fact that my father and his generation spilled blood and with many giving their lives to make sure that Adolf circa 1930’s Germany and Benito in Italy and The Emperor in Japan did not become the global leaders had given way Adolf 2025 and his minions rising up and attempting to do exactly what those heroes from ’41-45 prevented is difficult to read about. Even harder to deal with is the realization that ignorance, lack of interest in truthful information, and a fear of anyone or anything different has become almost normalized. Since 2016, lies, inaccuracies, fear mongering, has become the standard in so many places. The systematic dismantling of decade long policies designed to provide oversight and checks and balances gets worse each day. With consumer prices skyrocketing, and social programs designed to help the most needy among us cut or thrown away completely, we have Adolf 2025 spending his time on his golf courses, taking a crew of sycophants to the Super Bowl, and using his granddaughter as a prop so he can be driven around the Daytona track. Truly Nero fiddling while Rome burns (likely a reference that fewer and fewer will get with the decimation of the Department of Education, after all, an ignorant populous is easier to manipulate…something that continues to be proven daily). The desire for unnecessary expansionism, renaming things to suit his whims continues to put international relationships that go back a few centuries at risk, while looking to align himself (and thus this nation) with tyrants. It has become as if The Tudors was not a TV show, but an actual portent of the future.

Couple all of this tsoris with the realization that my age and with it the accompanying physical limitations, mean there are far more Nevers than even Maybes is becoming harder and harder to deal with. I have come to the realization that as much as I really still want to do it, I will never again get on a surfboard, never again start and finish a half marathon, likely never again even do a 5K other than to walk it (and that’s a stretch “maybe”), never again walk a full 18 holes carrying my own clubs (hell it’s hard enough with my arthritic hands to be able to play 18 holes riding a cart). I will never again be “19 forever” (with a nod to Joe Jackson). There are a lot more nevers I’m dealing with, but enough gloom is enough…

Yes, I’m still active. Yes I’m self sufficient and consistently above ground. Yes I can (and love to ) laugh and enjoy music of all kinds. Yes I have an amazing side kick on this roller coaster ride along the cradle-grave timeline.

However….

“…it’s no, nay, never
No, nay, never, no more
Will I play the wild rover
No, never, no more“