profkf's Blog

Think, for a moment, how fortunate we are. We are living in a world where, for the most part, we are being urged to stay physically separated from all but the folks we reside with, yet we also live in a world where we can Skype, Zoom, Google Meet, FaceTime, any any number of other ways were we can still communicate and still see each other. Granted, it’s kinda like watching a prison movie where loved ones are separated by a barrier, talk over a phone, and at the end, put their hands together on the barrier, as that’s almost exactly where we are at the moment. Similarly, just like in many of those prison movies/shows, there will come a time where our “sentence” has been completed and we rejoin those we care about. The problem with this, is just like the problem with that, recidivism. Will the prisoner, when released, take on a better approach and not return to the mistakes that led them to be confined, will WE, when allowed to begin to physically reengage, also follow recommendations and not plow headlong into still uncharted waters with a “gimme, gimme, gimme, me first” attitude to the point where we  break our “probation” (which is what will happen to us first, before full release), and are forced to return to confinement.

My thoughts go to the Mayor in the movie Jaws, who was steadfast in his voicing that the beaches could NOT be closed, even with the clear evidence of the predatory shark still around. How’d that turn out for the little boy on the air mattress? I am so looking forward to being able to dine out again, to sit on a beach and take some sun, maybe even to actually dip into the salt water (I’ve always believed that salt water cures everything, I was the dummy who during the great Labor Day surf in Far Rockaway, would, despite having a 102 degree fever, spend hours in the water back in the “day” and guess what, I’m still typing 55 years later so maybe there is something to that). What I’m more woried about is not a resurgence of the virus, that we can’t control, but a resurgence of the spread due to the “me first” attitudes that some people might have.

I look forward to the day when I can ride in the same golf cart as my playing partner or, even if we walk, shake hands at the end of a round, pick up the ball and toss it to someone else, have a post round libation and a meal, I look forward to hugging my kids and grandkids, all of this is now from a distance and with no contact.

I’m pretty sure we, as a human race, will get through this and it will, in fact, become something that is studied by future generations for a many reasons (hey, we’ve done the logistic curve spread of a disease as a calculus lesson for the entire time I’ve been teaching), what we don’t have either up close or from a distance, is patience.

There is some truth to the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare: Slow and steady, wins the race. Connecticut is sometimes referred to as the Land of Steady Habits, with luck people will take that to heart and will, perhaps by example, show that it can and does work as long as you put in the effort.

Just a reminder courtesy of Mr. Zevon: (with a little adjustment to the last line by me)

Yes, I know the tone of the various posts seem to be as mercurial as the weather. My mood and my thoughts do seem to rise and fall with the weather, the sun, the rain, the cold, the warmth and today is just another example.

I took the “outrageous” leap and, instead of my usual protein shake breakfast, made a [turkey]bacon, egg and cheese sandwich this morning to go with my morning coffee. Keep in mind that since my sleeve surgery 7/2015, I have been very rigid in starting the day with the shake. It keeps me satisfied till lunch, jump starts my day without the need for any thought or prep or clean up, I’d say it works out to about 340 mornings a year where that’s the case…the other 25 or so, I do go “off book” and do something “rash” like have a real breakfast…and it feels really good…

Life, as it says in the title, has been good to me when I give thought to everything. A career, that while not financially uplifting, continues to be nothing but a joy. Overall health (even over the years where things were not so solid, I’ve always been blessed with the ability to muddle through without much interruption and to recover from various maladies easily). When life has taken me, as it takes us all, to the bottom of the roller coaster ride, life has also then taken the inevitable long slow climb back to the top. Love came and went, but then came back stronger than ever.

While the travel we hoped to engage in has been temporarily squashed, I believe the coaster will also find that long slow climb back up again. Even now, where we very much look at being unable to make the move we’d like to Hilton Head in a year or so due to the fact that moving the current home is neigh impossible, I’m hoping that too is just the coaster moving down to the bottom (though that seems to happen much more quickly) and when it reaches the bottom we will be able to put our arms in the air, give a loud shout and try to turn the next chapter.

Just the fact that we are able to talk about it, to plan realistically (?) means that life continues to be good to me.

Back in the late ’60’s when I was learning to surf, I was very, very frustrated at being unable to stand up for more than 1/2 second. I was ready to quit, my instructor shrugged and said “go ahead if that’s what you want” I, very angrily said:  “hey, if you would teach me how to stand I could do it”, his reply…pretty profound “apparently you have not fallen down enough to figure out what YOU are doing wrong so you can correct it and stand up, I’m not the one on the board, YOU are, I can tell you what to do, I can show you what to do, I can even explain why certain things work and others don’t, and I’ve done all of that, but until you take those pieces and put them together in a way that works for You, you are going to continue to plotz, I can’t stand on the board for you (and wouldn’t even if I could so quit if that’s what you want”. 

Long story short, I didn’t, eventually I figured out how to push up, balance my weight and even discovered what happened when I shifted the wrong way. His lesson, not about surfing, but about dealing with difficulty, resonates to this very day and really embodies much of the philosophy I continue to use in the classroom…

Yup, once in a while, along the way, life’s been good to me.

Teaching Calculus for many, many years, “limit theory” was something that I spent a lot of time with. These days, the idea of “limits” has taken on totally new meaning. We are limited in our activities, there are limits to certain items that you can purchase, there are limits to how many people can be in how many places at the same time. Many businesses that once were upon 24-7 now have significantly limited hours, if they have hours at all.

We are all looking forward to the lifting of the “limits”, much has been written and discussed about the beginnings of the reopening of the state, the town, the nation. What it is going to look like will vary dramatically by the population, by the limits that are placed even as the limits are gradually lifted. How, exactly, will it work to dine out again, even in an outdoor space, if masks are required or even suggested, by the patrons? What is the “magic number” that a restaurant might need to make tables with limits even viable and what is the point where they again do better with in house dining while the take out or delivery part of the business slips back and becomes limited, or even non existent?

There are other limits that have either been reached or are being significantly approached. Patience for one, the patience that comes along with the idea that time, the most fleeting of things and one of the very few things that you can never get back, continues to move along notwithstanding. I, for one, am beginning to lose whatever patience I have. I think I reached my personal limit a day or two ago. I realized I am fed up with lack of social interaction, with trying to teach without being able to read the crowd, spending hours writing very specific approaches and subsequent tasks, then writing solutions and explanations to those tasks, only to have them consistently ignored or overlooked, all by people who have more often than not, demonstrated their abilities and capabilities when in person. I’ve reached my limit on bad weather (as I’m writing this, there is a freeze warning in place, on May 8th….really??), it seems to rain more than it seems to be sunny, I reached my limit with feeling restricted about where I can go and more, where I can go safely.

All of this brings me full circle back to limit theory, the harsh reality is that the idea of “limit” in calculus presents something that is approached, occasionally but rarely “reached” so with that, I’ll try to remember that while the limits we are currently experiencing are being tested every day, from a variety of different angles, we need to examine the ebb and flow of why, to look at the curves, to examine the behavior and to remember that continuity does not exist with a limit!

Well, it seemed inevitable, but until the actual announcement was made I don’t think there was a teacher in the tri state area that was not holding out some hope for a miracle. Alas, sometimes no matter how much you hope, want, even maybe pray, you can’t always get what you want. NY and NJ had “called” the in person school season off yesterday, and today CT followed suit. I don’t know that it has really settled in, this entire thing is very surreal. It has “hit” but I don’t know how long it will take to embrace. Interestingly enough (for me, anyway) this is the second time a “natural disaster” event has closed down a part of my career. When I decided to retire from public school teaching in 2012 and was due to leave the first week of November, Super Storm Sandy blew through the area and closed schools for so long (it seemed like a long time then, who would have thought that, in retrospect, was just the blink of an eye), that my last day at Weston High was simply an afterthought as it was going to be closed longer than I was going to work before my official state retirement day. Other than going back and returning my laptop a week or so later, the last day before the storm was the last day I was there. It makes me feel even more deeply for the kids who are graduating this year as I get the unceremonious “leaving” part of concluding a chapter.

I can also tell you that it’s not just the kids feeling odd about this, we, in the business, are very much used to being able to put closure to a school year. Most of my career at the high school level, each class was a group of “one offs” where I didn’t have the joy or the luxury (or yes, sometimes the pain) of working with a group for more than one year. My last 7 years have been markedly different. I’m with the same kids for three consecutive years and quite the deep relationships develop, so this year, the inability to say goodbye, to wish them a personal good luck, to conclude with my summary of the past three years in person, will not happen. It really feels odd.

For the kids, who are just starting out, it will be strange as well, but they have many, many more events and many, many more years to enjoy major celebrations. Me, I’m currently playing the latter half of the “back nine” of life and so each “interruption” such as this stands out as something I might never be able to make up for. Of course, my stated plan is to make it to 146, so if that works out, I’ll have more than a few more, but this virus has managed to wag a real finger in my face with a “you never know, do you” reminder.

For those who are most impacted by these lack of celebratory events, chin up, you’re just starting out, as Bruce so eloquently puts it…”One day we’ll look back on this and it will all seem funny..”

Cheers all, it’s time to celebrate!