profkf's Blog

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to live in a warmer climate than I spent the last 69 years of my life in (NY-MA-CT), and I’ve wanted to live near or very close to the water.

Sometimes things work out, as those of you who have been reading along know, in late August we moved to Bluffton, SC from Norwalk, CT, the sequence of events leading to the move and through the move, pretty much cataloged in other posts, so I won’t recap here (feel free to look back if you are new, and if you are, welcome!

Today was one of those incredibly glorious days…Abbey the dog and I went for a nice walk, then, it being Sunday morning, Bloody Marys were made and at 10 AM, Fred Migliore’s radio show FMOdyssey was fired up courtesy of streaming, and for the three hours we simply listened and enjoyed. Then it was much too beautiful a day to resist a trip to the water, only a few minutes away, and so we did…hoping to see some dolphins playing (there were none today) but to simply sit, listen to the water, and enjoy the sunshine was magical…

All I kept thinking was ….I Live Here!!!

Anyone who has read some of the series of thoughts I’ve set down over the past year and a half or so is aware that I have done my level best to avoid most news stories during the pandemic. The dreadful, downright depressing atmosphere set forth from 2016-2020 was difficult enough and when that was coupled with the cataclysmic events of increasingly preventable illness and death it became too much so I read, ran, played golf, and listened to music.

Move ahead to fall 2021, we now live in a state where, for the most part, people seem to believe Covid doesn’t exit, though the weather does allow for mostly outside activity, we have also had our “booster” dose of the very effective and safe, vaccine and I really don’t seem to be all that concerned. None of that changes the fact that we, as a locality, as a nation, are increasingly divided and it seems, becoming more so by the day. I could not help but read about the “visit” to my former (and still dear to my heart) home state, CT by the incredibly idiotic MT Greene. The “rally” was filled with shouts still contradicting the results of a two year old election that has been more scrutinized for inaccuracy than anything I can remember (all for naught as each attempt was nothing more than an exclamation point on the fact that the election was accurate and the result fair).

Currently there is more division going on in the school district I taught in for a quarter century and which, to this day, still holds the best memories and where I still have many friends and connections. A small, but vocal, group of parents, none of whom has ever spent a single minute as an educator of any kind, keep spouting rhetoric where they presume to know it all and know exactly what the best policy is. The interesting part is that many of their ideas are housed in the same divisive areas as the political climate, they constantly say they want to engage in dialog, but then shout down anyone with a different viewpoint, the give you a list of things but when asked for the facts behind their list, they simply raise their voices and talk about how YOU only want to talk about it from your perspective, never, ever, giving any supporting documentation. The latest exchange though the press is a “reply” to a letter written by a 30 year educator written to point out how toxic the current treatment of supposedly valued staff is. The respondent, a former serviceman (yes, I am thankful for all those who choose to put their lives on the line and that includes this particular person), out of one side of his pen talks about how he does truly value the teachers and how it’s the administrators who don’t value their teachers (a glimmer of truth for some of them, but even painting that picture is done with a broad brush with no attention to detail and nothing more than out of context examples). Then, in the very next paragraph, he talks about how “you work for us”, perhaps the single best example, of going right back to the plantation mentality he has exhibited in the past (to the point that this particular individual had to resign a position based upon various public diatribes against many who did not look or believe like him. He talks about his kids crying when they come home because they hate wearing masks in school. Let’s think on that, both my wife and I taught with masks all day long and ALL of the kids in my classes and the overwhelming majority of the kids in her classes didn’t cry, didn’t object, they simply wore their masks. Why you may ask? That’s easy: 47 years in the classroom always showed the same thing, kids will do what is asked of them, especially when they are given solid reasons why, unless the guidelines or rules are constantly undermined and chipped away at on the home front. It is also interesting to me that these same contrarian parents always pepper their comments with the fact that “the schools/teachers seem to forget that the parents are our kids first and best teachers”. That, frankly, is a very, very true statement. I have never met a child who was born to hate, to disagree, to act up, to be entitled, that is learned behavior and I can pretty much tell you the it is not something taught in any school I have ever been a part of, so where does it come from? Yup, you guessed it, from the home they come from.

All of this division is born of the same thing: fear…fear that if someone has something different from you, or is given an advantage for some reason, it is at YOUR expense, or it is because you will then lose something. The amusing part is that most of the people who promulgate these ideas are being fed the ideas by those who don’t care about the people they are riling up [do you really think that #45 and his ilk gave two flips about what could happen to the 1/6 insurgents, no they were safe and in hiding]. You don’t have to be a statistician or even a magician to see that the states with the most obstinate leaders (all of whom are very, very well off themselves) have the worst education systems and worst health situations.

Division, for lack of a better word, is bad.

So just yesterday, in talking to my lovely daughter for her birthday (the conversation was a day late, as on her actual (41st) birthday, timing was out of whack [her mom duties overpowered her “self” duties], she asked me what out day was like now that we are retired and “settled in”. It gave me pause, as, for the moment, our “day” amounts to waking up, sipping coffee, reading email, reading various electronic papers (I really do miss holding the Times and the News but that’s just the way it is now), either walking the dog, going for a run (sometimes both), lunch, more sitting, happy hour, dinner, some TV, then bed. There are some errands built in, but not much. We currently have only one neighbor and they work split shifts (he’s a marine, she works in health care) so our only engagement is the occasional nod or quick exchange outside.

That brings me to the morning today…I’m sitting at the local BMW dealer getting some routine work done on the car and it continues to amaze me how much more low key it is here. Not the usual crush at the service center, easy check in, and a delightful covered table so I can sit outside and watch the rain and the cars going by as I type. Mornings here, especially without the last 47 years of alarms going off, are almost magical. The sunrise, the roosters crowing in the distance (it is still somewhat rural), and just the enjoyment of the ease of the upcoming day. It’s also very interesting how the events of the past 18 or so months have really prepared both of us to be in a very solid coexisting state without getting on each other’s nerves too quickly so I guess that’s a positive outcome. I am incredibly grateful for a loving wife and companion who makes me laugh, for my kids and grandkids who are happy and healthy and who also make me laugh and mostly for my health. A few years back I was as large as a whale, and at risk of a much shorter stay, now, unless something mysterious pops up (and we all know, life can be funny that way), with the exception of the occasional stiffness from too much activity, I foresee another 4 or 5 decades (yes I know that’s optimistic at 69 but what the hell, science continues to make things better doesn’t it?), of smiles, laughs, love and activity.

There really is no way to say no to the morning…

A mythic place, a place that never really existed except in legend.

Thus the thoughts this beautiful South Carolina morning….

If you’ve read anything prior, you know that I spent the overwhelming majority of my adult life teaching (mostly high school). It added up to 47+ years and it was an incredible run filled, for the most part, with joy and laughter and lessons both taught and learned. Close to 25 of those years were spent at Greenwich High School. Friendships were forged that continue to this very day even though I have been gone from there since 2004. I met my wife, Susan, there (she was there for 37+ years and has even deeper connections as she was raised in that very town and attended GHS herself). If there was an educational setting that could have approached a real life Camelot, GHS was it. To this day it has a pulse and a heartbeat unlike any other place I’ve taught or attended, however, that heartbeat is fading a bit. It is not fading because of the still largely terrific grunts in the trenches, but due to the change in leadership that began in the early 2000’s (thus my decision to leave) and continues sliding down a very deep hole to this very day.

When I began there, we had leaders at every level who trusted the folks they hired, who encouraged the folks they hired, who were really, really interested in their input and allowing them to grow and improve. It really was a team effort on every level. While, of course, there were disagreements, I always had the feeling that someone had my back. The leaders were sharp, eloquent, thoughtful and for the most part gentle. If you screwed up, they did take you to task, but always with reasons and giving you the opportunity to fix it.

I have followed the operations of the distrcit, because it sill holds a very special place in my heart as well as having been the best place to be during the time I was there, but mostly due to Sue still being there until she retired and it’s sad to see what it has become. A myriad of Superintendents, with the current one having zero interest in even giving lip service to input from the team of leaders at the district level. It is a top down dictate without any discussion. The majority of the nominal leaders are either clueless or climbing, in either case the method of “do as you’re told” seems to be at the top of the administrative agenda. The good news and the hopeful news is that there are still some in leadership positions who would easily have fit in back in “the day”, the bad news is they are being overwhelmed and ignored.

Camelot no more…however..this is a great way to close

“Don’t let it be forgot
That once there was a spot
For one brief shining moment that was known
As Camelot.“

We have begun to “settle in”. Unpacking is done and we have been very pleased with the way the new home is laid out in terms of space. While we don’t have a basement, attic or shed, the good news is that it provides so much less opportunity to crap things up. We need to be mindful of using the space we do have. As an aside, my incredibly helpful son, while here helping out at the very beginning, bought and assembled a full shelving unit for the garage where we have put the holiday decorations and a load of various rubbermaids that serve as necessary storage, all labelled, all arranged so there is that. The interior of the house has so much closet space that we have two totally empty guest closets. The pantry in the kitchen is less than 1/2 used, the cabinet space in the kitchen plentiful, well organized and well positioned. I’m not fond of the electric conduction cooktop but we decided that we’d wait a year and see if we adjust to it before we decide to go with a gas cooktop. I do like the double ovens that can be totally controlled from the app on the phone.

That leads me to the title after a rambling introduction…since we are now mostly unburdened with moving in, we have begun to tool around some out of necessity (DMV, Taxes, groceries, etc) some for fun (restaurants et al). One of the great revelations is how far from “home” everything seems to be, yet how it is not a burden. We are more miles from everywhere, rather than from nowhere. Most of the places we have gone or need to go are between 5 and 11 miles from the house. Some, on Hilton Head and Port Royal, as many as 15 or 20. Yet, the amazing part is, these “trips” are not bothersome at all. There is no CT “traffic” where simply going one exit on the parkway to dinner could take upwards of 20 minutes and be annoying. Yes there are cars and trucks on the road, but it always moves, occasional lights, and stop signs but no annoying rubber banding, mind numbing loaded traffic. I suspect that, given what I’ve read and heard, there will be times during “tourist season” [apparently mostly very late spring through Labor Day] where Hilton Head can, at times, be a bit “testy”. However, there are a few things working in our favor there as well. First, being, as we are, fully retired, we don’t have to operate and go during the “prime” times that vacationers are coming and going. Second, and more importantly, even then I suspect that what those not familiar with the NY-CT area think is terrible will be at worst a minor annoyance.

Each time we embark on a chore or an outing, I am pleased to enjoy the beautiful trees and the view as we find our destinations [still, mostly, courtesy of GPS but learning more each time]

So this closing seems apropos today:

“Miles from nowhere
I guess I’ll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there”