profkf's Blog

Monday 8/7: After a leisurely breakfast and relaxed conversation we headed out on the first wine stop of the trip. Niner Winery https://www.ninerwine.com/. The setting was great, we were overlooking “Heart Hill” and the wines were great. One of the lessons we learned on our multiple Napa and Sonoma trips was to make sure we had nibbles along with the tastings (and to limit the tastings to no more than 2 per day) so we had a charcuterie board along with the wines. All of it was a great kickoff to the week. Niner was one of my favorites of the trip, though I did not join their club as they are one of the few from Paso that we can reliably get here in SC. We were planning on a second that day, Broken Earth, but when I asked our “tasting guide” about his thoughts he said they were “unique” in that they specialized in sweeter wines, no one in the group enjoys that so we decided to simply scuttle it. Another thing he did tell us about was a great butcher and fish market (that will come into play later in the trip), so off we went to go back to the house with a detour to Albertson’s to stock up for the week (Tori had made a quick stop on her way in on Sunday just enough for the one morning), very convenient that CA stores sell wine, beer and booze alongside the groceries, truly one stop shopping. Upon arriving back at the house, Paul’s son (also Paul…henceforth referred to as Paulie) and his niece Ariella (Ella) had arrived to stay for a couple of days, so after unloading and putting away we all headed down to the pool to continue sipping and getting to know the “new kids on the block”. What a fabulous addition, they were so much fun to have, I’m sorry they didn’t stay longer! After having no dinner plans, Paul and Tori found a local family run Italian restaurant that was willing to take a party of 8 last minute. On the menu they had a mussels and clam dish and I asked if they would simply make a mussels fra diavolo. The chef said “sure” and what I had may very well have been the best tasting food I had in Paso, it was up there with my grandfather’s and my ex mother in law’s..it was so freaking good that while I finished the mussels, I kept the “juice”, brought it home and used it to make with my eggs each of the next three mornings…I can still taste it as I write. Some more sipping and then off to the land of nod….

Niner Wine Estate: Heart Hill

Tuesday 8/8: Just one scheduled tasting today (there originally were two….but Justin was taken off the list for today, more about that on Thursday…Today was Tablas Creek ( https://tablascreek.com/ ) A really nice, low key, tasting with a lot of interesting wines. I did join that club since they are not available here and I liked the variety of lighter reds (they, like many in Paso, do a GSM mix that is very interesting). While we were out tasting, Paulie and Ella had decided they were going to do a full on family meal at the house that evening and they went shopping…when we arrived home they were in full prep mode. Their menu was an incredible variety of antipasto, salads, and the shining star..a bunch of different pizzas that they were preparing and would cook in the wood fired pizza oven down by the pool. Everyone was helping, sipping, laughing and just having a great time. Getting the pizza oven up to temp was quite the adventure as the wood we had been left was not well seasoned and it became very difficult to get up to temp. Regardless, after much effort on many parts, the pizzas were made and enjoyed by everyone. (The interesting part is that the oven held the temp for another day and a half once it was finally fully fired). The postscript: the leftover pizza provided the base for more spectacular breakfasts (along with my mussel “juice”).

Wednesday 8/9: Sadly, Paulie and Ella were leaving today, they were so much fun to have join in, and frankly, they are such interesting, eloquent, funny, bright younger folks that it really does give one hope in this tumultuous time we live in. We all said our goodbyes as they were packing as we were leaving for our “two a day” trip…First up was Bianchi (https://www.bianchiwine.com/ ) chosen originally as it was pretty close to the house. We arrived just as they opened, and after spending a lot of time at the Koi pond (with Sue delighting in feeding the fish as they gave fish food prior to the tasting) we were pleasantly surprised at the wines, nothing spectacular but all tasty (and the pours were beyond “ample”). Again we made the correct choice to have some charcuterie and cheese to ward off the generous “revisits”. From there, just down the road, to Tobin James (https://www.tobinjames.com/ ) the only standing tasting we had all week…it was an atmosphere modeled on the wild west. The tastings were fun, the wine good. We did pick up some at each place as we constantly needed to restock the homestead. Then there was dinner….The Hatch was highly recommended so we had made a reservation there prior to the actual trip. To say it was a disappointment would be saying far too little. It was terrible. The service was great, but the food was less than mediocre. Tasteless apps, tasteless (highly touted main courses) we simply could not get out of there fast enough. Still don’t know who was writing the reviews. The ONLY upnote…I had a glass of Pappy Van Winkle 15 (they are a Bourbon focused place)

Bianchi

Tobin James

It’s national ____________________fill in the blank day (or week or month…). I get it, but I also don’t get it.

It’s important for people to feel “seen” or recognized, but the reason for that is exactly that far, far too many do not feel that way and I certainly “get” why. I was never a big fan of studying history, perhaps because my experience with that was a skewed setting in elementary school (the Dominican Nuns had their own take on history), my formative years in HS spent mostly with history classes taught by football coaches who wanted more to talk sports (which I love) than actual events and then incredibly boring college profs , most of whom HATED and made no secret of it teaching non major courses.

What was interesting to me is that with that background I learned far more “history” from my english teachers and profs (and yes, Dr. Rentaro Hashimoto (recently passed) in philosophy in college). The history was always related to the works being read and discussed, each work put in historical perspective. The events of the “day” that Dickens was writing about (I hated Dickens when I was younger), how outstanding it was that Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein as a response to her husband and cohorts dismissing her as a “woman”, the prescience of Orwell and Huxley. What was science “fiction” that is now well beyond science “fact”. Through all of this I developed not only an appreciation for, but a lens to examine the events of the past many years.

All of this is by way of introduction to say how continually upsetting it is that very little has actually changed. There are always groups that hate other groups and try to, and are frequently successful at marginalizing them or worse (or concurrently) subjugating them. Religion, sex, color, gender, language, nationality, sexuality are amongh the flashpoints. The real question is why? Why are so many people threatened by anyone who believes something that they don’t? Why is it seemingly always posted as fear that because one group has something either your group doesn’t or will lose it if they attain it? Why is one “god” good and all other “gods” wrong or evil? Why is it necessary to quote a bible as a ruling document when that was written the same way that Dickens, Orwell, Huxley, King, Stoker, Shelley produced. their literary works, yet the major difference there is that those works aren’t interpreted to allow for subjugation and imposition of will of one group onto another. Why is it necessary that because one person or one group doesn’t “like” something that it should be banned? Why is it that someone who looks or acts differently is dangerous because they are “grooming” folks to act like them (when, in fact, why would they want to do that since they have it soooo much more difficult than those who are afraid of them)

Sixty years ago, this coming August a very poignant, accurate, oft quoted speech was given, I’m sure you know of it…here is just one part:

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

I would like to add to that …not by their appearance, not by who they worship, not by what language they speak, not by who they love, not by their gender

I’m closer to the end of the cradle-grave timeline than I am to the beginning (by a lot), but I still hope that I will get to see more of that dream realized than thwarted before my train pulls into the station.

I long for the day to come where we won’t need individual difference celebration recognition events because there is no longer real difference, we all breath the same air.

I guess I will continue to dream on (and hope).

I’m going down to Lucky Town
Going down to Lucky Town
I wanna lose these blues I’ve found
Down in Lucky Town
Baby, down in Lucky Town

There are some days that just scream for reflection, today is one of those days. It is a spectacularly beautiful afternoon, I am sitting out on my back patio, this is my view.

It may not look like much, but let’s take a small trip to find out why I think it is a lot:

I’m well into my 70th year, I’m healthy (at least as far as I know), I have a partner on this crazy life train who is the best anyone could ever hope for, I have children who have found their own paths and who I can’t do justice with words to express how proud I am of them. Healthy, happy, granddaughters, friends, Abbey THE dog (sitting outside with me now as I write this). I get to look back at decades of a career that was never work as much as it was a daily joy, hopefully having made a very small difference in a world that is currently upside down. I get to listen to music that lifts me up, makes me smile, makes me think, makes me cry, let’s me sing along (very off key but who cares…I sure don’t). I managed to make a move from an area I loved (and still do) to a brand new, comfortable, sunny, place that we now call home.

I could have walked down 100 different roads over the years and I have no clue what nudged me down the ones I chose, I just know that I’ve learned from each road taken and can look back with smiles for each journey, even the bumps were worth it (of course they don’t seem like that at the time but this is a reflection piece so I get to use the filter of hindsight and rose colored glasses don’t I?).

There really is no reason for this post today, other than I felt the need to put fingers to keyboard to simply make a record of how lucky I feel today, especially since some of the more recent posts have been a bit maudlin..

I started with Bruce, but the title is courtesy of ELP, and I’ll use some of those lyrics as an exit line (with a small change)

Ooh, what a lucky man he (is)

So, if you’ve been reading, you know that I have been retired from full time teaching since 2012 and as of June 2021, from part time teaching. We are now fully settled in Bluffton, SC and I have been toying with doing something other than simply living the retirement life.

A few weeks back, a neighbor told me about a part time job he took working the front gate/construction gate and riding patrol for the very “well heeled” community right across from us, Palmetto Bluff. He was having a good time and said they were still looking for folks. I thought, “what the hell” and filled out the paperwork, went on the interview and was offered a job two days a week working the construction gate. The pay is hideous ($15.42 per hour) but it was not about the money, it was simply to try something outside of doing not much. There were also some very nice perks…the major one for me was the ability to play on their very exclusive golf course gratis, (of course having to fit it in around the members but totally understandable)…so I figured, why not, how bad could it be (and it might even be fun) so off I went on Tuesday past for my first shift at the construction gate (basically a training shift) 7 Am to 3 PM (I’ve always been an early guy so that was a pretty attractive timeline instead of the 3-11 or midnight to 8 other options and the main gate).

Off I went at 6:55 in the morning (did I mention it was less than 4/10 of a mile from the house), and met some very nice folks.

The job itself is fairly straight forward: There are three people at the gate, always at the gate, never leaving the gate. There is a small gate house, but the action all takes place outside: Beginning at 7 AM and continuing until 5:45 pm, there is a steady flow of all manner of vehicles. There are two lanes, the far right is for vehicles that have purchased annual decals and the left lane is to pull up to the gatehouse and purchase a daily pass (costs vary by size of vehicle).

One person stands in the middle of the two lanes and looks for the decals on those coming in the right lane, one person stands at the podium at the gatehouse and takes the money, issues the daily pass, writes down the company name, destination and the number of the pass. The third person sits in the gatehouse and records the pass number and the money as it is taken in keeping a running total. While there is some rotation regarding who issues and who enters, there’s not much else to rotate.

While it seems easy, (it is, “easy” in the sense of not really complicated), it is…mind…..numbingly…repetitive and….boring….8 hours, without any change of scene. As I was the new guy being trained most of my time was spent spotting decals and waving folks in….for 8 hours….probably 7 of them standing in one place…even when I did issue passes, it was standing in one place…all the while sucking down the usual vehicular exhaust that comes with idling trucks and other vehicles while they wait for their passes…and/or line up to be waved through. Of course, even though the gatehouse itself is heated and air conditioned, since the flow was fairly constant up until the early afternoon, it was all done outside…where the mosquitos and “no see ums” where happy to feast. Add to that the fact that my two days were really decent weather, however, I could foresee what it would be like when the humidity and heat would descend (never mind the rainstorms which they couldn’t even have an overhang due to the varying sizes of the trucks)

Needless to say, I immediately had “buyer’s remorse”, so yesterday, Thursday, about an hour into the second day, when the boss came to check on how I was doing, my response was “let’s talk later”, to which she replied “do you want to talk now?” “If you’re up to it” I replied…

So I simply told her that I appreciated their interest and the offer, but it was truly not something I saw myself doing long term. She asked if I’d prefer to not even bother with two weeks but she’d be more than willing to consider yesterday the endpoint, and that she could schedule around it (remember I was only being trained at that point anyway, so I was an “extra” the entire two days).

With great relief, we shook hands, and I finished up yesterday (missing the first 6 innings of Yankee Opening Day) and with great joy drove the 4/10 of a mile home fully realizing that at no point now or in the future did I ever want to do any kind of “work” that (a) I didn’t enjoy and (b) would last more than 4 hours tops.

A good news postcript: If you’ve been reading you know how melancholy and seemingly lost I’ve been lately…well, the net effect of this most recent failed experiment is how much more I now fully appreciate the life I have and the total lack of any concrete “clock punching” responsibilities. It’s as if the melancholy was blown away by the fine folks at Safety and Security Services LLC and the exhaust of the gagillion construction vehicles.

And with that, we now return to our regularly scheduled program…..

And a fire in the stars that hang so near, so near
There’s a sound in the wind that blows through the wild mountain holds
Like the sighs of a thousand crying souls, crying souls
There’s a time when the traveler is fated to find
That insight has turned his gaze behind, behind
And the steps taken yesterday will beckon again
And lead to his weary journey’s end, his journey’s end
And in the passage from the cradle to the grave we are born, madly dancing
Rushing headlong through the crashing of the days

Sometimes in the night I feel it
Near as my next breath and yet untouchable
Silently the past comes stealing
Like the taste of some forbidden sweet
Along the walls in shadowed rafters
Moving like a thought through haunted atmospheres
Muted cries and echoed laughter
Banished dreams that never sank in sleep
Lost in love and found in reason
Questions that the mind can find no answers for

Ghostly eyes conspire treason
As they gather just outside the door
And every ghost that calls upon us
Brings another measure in the mystery

Down the ancient corridors
And through the gates of time
Run the ghosts of dreams that we left behind

The moon has a face
And it smiles on the lake
And causes the ripples in Time
I’m lucky to be here
With someone I like
Who maketh my spirit to shine

Don’t let us get sick
Don’t let us get old
Don’t let us get stupid, all right?
Just make us be brave
And make us play nice
And let us be together tonight

Just some incredible lyrics expressing far more eloquently what was running through my head last night…(and yes, tonight also).

I realize I am so incredibly fortunate to be where I am, to be surrounded by the folks I am surrounded by, to have the most amazing, caring, loving, inspirational partner on this journey. It is truly a privilege to grow older…guess I’ll end with that thought tonight…though it’s still time for Alexa to play more…perhaps we’ll start with Years by BNC…who knows where it will go from there…

Sue and I have a very nice evening routine…regardless of the day we still take time to gather at 5 pm for happy hour and to catch up on some tv…that leads into dinner and then we watch some other things (currently catching up on Sons of Anarchy as well as other things we have DVR’d). That usually brings us to around 9 pm…at which point Sue heads to bed.

After she does that, I don’t find myself particularly tired, I’ve never needed a lot of sleep and now the slowdown of daily activity has made sleep not nearly as necessary. So I will stay up, scroll around, watch some sporting events depending upon the season, write, as I am doing now and still not get seemingly sleepy.

If you’ve been reading over the past few years, you know that I’ve expressed befuddlement (and yes, dismay) that I have far many more days behind me than ahead of me. I continue to struggle with that, and the latest “bout” happens each night as it gets quiet and still. My mind races around things like “is it possible that this might be the night I settle into sleep and don’t see the morning?”, “if I don’t wake up, who handles the dumb stupid day to day stuff that is simply part of my routine?”, “what about all the things I still want to do?” and on and on

Eventually, because I have nothing better to do, I will settle into bed, toss and turn for a while, eventually sleep, usually (according to my Apple watch) in various states of light, deep, REM, awake etc…I rarely feel rested in the morning, not tired, but not really refreshed. I think, if I had my druthers, I’d forego sleeping and simply relish the time left whatever that might be.

I guess in the still of tonight, my thoughts have run out. Back to listening to music…”Alexa, play….”