profkf's Blog

Well, it seems like a good day to put some wrapping around an interesting year.

2022 was certainly, in it’s own way, a lot more even keeled than the prior year. There was no cataclysmic uprooting and moving. We are settled here in the south and have met some folks as the community continues to build up. We have found restaurants we love and some we like, we are more comfortable moving around and finding our way. I remain in love with the weather (most of the time)…the sunshine and much, much warmer temperatures are, for me a plus. The humidity in the summer is a bit off putting, but it used to be humid periodically in CT so it’s not overwhelming. In the winter in CT people go from heated homes to heated cars to heated spaces. In the summer in SC we go from AC homes to AC cars to AC places, but we also do spend time outside more so than in the winter in CT. Abbey THE dog loves the fact that she walks every day, though she does not like the really deep heat on some summer days.

There were two major trips in 2022, one was a wonderful celebration of life for Sue’s dad it was, of course, delayed by over a year due to the Covid nuisance that seems to now be a permanent resident in our lives, even if less scary and intrusive as it was back in 20 and early 21. The other was a 10 day trip back “home” where we celebrated milestone birthdays (both 60 and 70) and a milestone 20th anniversary (though we actually flew home on that day…bad planning?), get togethers with family and many friends all of whom we still wish we were not as far away from and who we miss terribly and frequently.

Aging, frankly sucks…there are so many small things that are simply annoying, I had cataract surgery and no longer need the distance glasses I’ve worn since I was 10, that has been very pleasant, though I still need them to read (not as annoying as I thought it might be). I have allowed my weight to go up, not anywhere near where it was, but I’m disappointed in myself for letting it get to where it’s gone. Part of it, I’m sure, is being more sedentary in retirement, and part of it is adding the happy hour(s) each day. Regardless, while I’m disappointed in myself, I am aware of it and am working as best I can on it.

I’ve not played as much golf as I would have liked, but I did just play yesterday (something else you really can’t do comfortably back in CT most Dec-Jan days), I’ve pretty much stopped running due to a reaction to a tremor drug I took for a while (it worked great, but it made me pretty dizzy so…nope, no go) but I walk at least 2 miles daily so there’s that.

All in all, with all that is going on everywhere, we remain lucky, healthy and happy. I continue to have fabulous kids, who now have fabulous sprouting like weeds, kids of their own…I also, as anyone who’s read prior knows, continue to struggle with the reality of mortality. However, the fact that I still see 19 in the mental mirror continues to fight that.

so….living in (my) eloquence (it’s ) another Auld Lang Syne….

Some nights, with no need to set an alarm, you float around on the screen or on the stream…tonight was one of those nights. I came upon The Big Interview with Dan Rather and his time with Meat Loaf from 2016. It was fascinating, depressing and a cautionary tale all at once.

It was in April 1978, if I recall correctly, we had just moved to the Berkshires and I had taken a teaching job at Monument Mountain Regional HS back in November….we managed to get tickets to see Meat Loaf who had just released the Bat Out of Hell album at the very excellent venue (no long gone….) The Westchester Premier Theater. It was one of our first trips back from Massachusetts, We had 4th row seats and to this very day that show remains one of the best I’ve ever seen.

The Dan Rather show was full of clips from that time and it was like being in a time machine. I had not yet turned 30 myself, was, in fact, still a few years away, all of life was ahead of me.

As I write this, I have now crossed over into my Septuagenarian years, (though truth be told I still see 19 when I look in the mental mirror), I remembered an incredibly energetic singer with a powerful stage presence singing songs I still love today, talking to Dan Rather and seeming not only frail but oddly off kilter as he was talking about his career…while it was recorded a few years before he passed unexpectedly and suddenly less than a year ago, it was kind of shocking how he had aged.

I struggle with mortality and aging. I don’t feel frail or “old”, yet Father Time remains the only undefeated entity and the fact that Meat was 74 when he passed yet younger than I am now when he did that interview has me all kinds of out of sorts tonight…

I remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday…….

it’s cold and lonely in the deep dark night.

“They’ll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they’ll watch the game, and it’ll be as if they’d dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick, they’ll have to brush them away from their faces.

America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It’s been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game — it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again.“

This epic monologue from Field of Dreams rings loudly to me today.

Last night, Aaron Judge hit #62..I have watched it over and over and over, so much so that Sue asked “I know it’s a big deal, but exactly how many times can you watch the same thing?” My answer was pretty simple “never enough times”.

Baseball connects me back to afternoons and evenings with my dad (gone since 1993), to watching games during the Yankee run in the late 90’s with my kids, to spending time at the Stadium taking the D-Train for double headers and night games and day games. To pretending to be Roger in ’61 (and wearing his number [yes I’m repeating myself from the prior post]). To anxiously opening the NYDaily News to see the stats, to many nights spent with my 6 transistor radio under my pillow to listen to a game on the west coast so my parents wouldn’t know I was still awake, and then if they lost, being unable to sleep I was so sad.

When my dad took me to my first game at the stadium he allowed me one souvenir, I chose a Yogi Berra pin, I still have it over 64 years later it was and is that precious an item to me. I also have a 1960 Roger Maris MVP baseball card that I found in a shop in Huntsville, Texas back in 1991. Through the largess of a former student at GHS I was given tickets to the third row at the Stadium for opening day when Yogi returned to the Stadium for the first time since he was fired, my son and watched as Derek Jeter warmed up prior to the game and as we were leaving we were interviewed by 1010Wins radio about what the game meant (and the clip made the air!!).

The world is a mess at the moment but for a moment #62 reminded me (and seemingly from the reaction, lots of us) of “…all that once was good and could be again”

I had just turned 9 in the summer of ’61 and looking back on things now the numerologists would go nuts with some of the numbers.

I was (and remain) a life long NYYankee fan, it was my dad’s favorite team, I was born and raised in the Bronx, living for almost 23 years right at the end of the D-Train subway line. (it was directly across the street from 3149 Perry Ave, the apartment I was moved to when I was 5 years old, it was where I shook hands with Bobby Kennedy during one of his campaign stops…but that’s a story for another day) For most of my elementary and HS years it was simple to take the train (a one way fare then was .15) to 161st Street and River Ave stop (right at Yankee Stadium). A general admission ticket was $1.50, it was easy to get a seat behind home plate in the upper deck, you were able to bring your own food and drink along in a paper bag, Sundays were double header days same price to get in, just needed to bring more food, so all in all I spent a lot of time there.

Roger Maris was my favorite player until they traded him to St. Louis, well I still followed his exploits in the NYDaily News but it was only the stats I could see, there was no SportsCenter, no QuickPitch, no internet and once he was traded, the radio and press really didn’t cover him in NY add on to that the fact that there were no interleague games so even that was hard.

I was totally enthralled by the ’61 home run chase and while I loved Mickey, I was pulling for Roger just that much harder. I wore #9 on my little league jersey and played right field also (not nearly as well as Roger other than in my mind). I remember where I was when he hit #61, in a neighbors apartment across the hall, and the screaming and happy yelling still reverberates in my head. It was the magic of youth and seeming life eternal.

That brings us to 2022…it is exactly 61 years later and the number, for the moment, is still #61…it remains, in my mind, the legit, untainted by steroids record in all of MLB. It is, currently, again under “siege”. By another Yankee mostly right fielder this time wearing not 9 but #99 and I am relishing every soundbite, every audio, every story about it. I remember talking with my dad about it, following the “tracker” in the Daily News (and then the afternoon NYPost), it was THE topic of conversation as the new school year started up. Every pick up game we played, everyone, at every at bat, was “Roger” trying to hit #61. The only current downside is that here in SC it is almost impossible to get a Yankee game unless it’s the national broadcast, however I suspect that now, as of this writing, that Aaron Judge is sitting on 59 with a lot of games to go, there will be a lot of “look ins” for each at bat moving forward.

It is such a refreshing respite from world events coupled with the fact that there is ZERO suspicion of any PED “assist”.

I’ll close with, what is to me, the astounding irony of it all:

1961, 61 years ago, Maris wore 9, I was 9, Judge wears 99, and as another interesting aside, Sue was born in 1961 (not till 12/61 but still part of that magical year for this then physically young and still mentally childish man). Also in the 9th inning of Game 3, of the World Series, Maris hit what turned out to be the winning home run…9th inning…..[Yankees won that series 4-1 also]

While the house agnostic does not really believe in much more than ashes to ashes…there is a small part somewhere that hopes he’s wrong and would like to think that Marty Fitzpatrick is up there smiling, sipping a Ballantine while listening to Mel Allen and Phil Rizzuto calling Judge’s #61 and beyond.

Holy Cow, THAT was a Ballantine Blast! (IYKYK).

Seems an appropriate title: One year ago today, right around this time, Drew and I had just checked into the Hampton Inn in Okatie after an overnight drive and dropping Abbey THE dog off at May River Pet Resort for what turned out to be a 5 day stay. We were both completely shot, Drew more than I since he had done a bulk of the driving, however, I, by virtue of my then 69 years, got to claim to be more tired!

The next few days were spinning so fast it is tough to really remember all that happened. Sue arrived a few days later, having engineered the load out and cleaning of our 20 years at West Rocks Road, here are the last two views she sent me as she was leaving to spend her last night in CT with a friend.

It was not until 8/27 that we ended up closing and actually moving in but I do consider it a full year that I’ve been in SC…. The amazing thing is that it all came full circle these past few days, Drew, out of the blue and much to my surprise, flew down to help celebrate my 70th birthday and we ended up having dinner at exactly the same places we had our first two meals together just after Sue arrived. (He stayed an extra day as his flight home was cancelled due to the nasty weather here on the 22nd) So I dropped him off at the airport almost exactly, a year later, when I pulled out of the driveway in CT for the last time.

525,000 moments so dear…

It’s time now to sing out
Though the story never ends
Let’s celebrate
Remember a year in the life… well you know the rest….

Cheers to many more moments to come!!

As I’m writing this, I keep hearing the Chambers Brothers playing in my head. I am now, officially, a Septuagenarian. I’ve made it further than my dad did by over a year, I am the oldest male in the family bloodline and with the happy exception of my Aunt Irene, simply the oldest.

Time is a funny thing, there is no control, it moves both quickly and slowly depending upon what is going on at THAT time. As I sit here to write, I am waiting for someone to come and do something at the house and the waiting is making time seem to drag incredibly slowly, yet the simple thought that I am about to reflect on 70 past years makes it seem like it was truly the “blink of an eye” speed.

I have been gifted with mentions, calls, visits and items over the past week each one with a very special tugging of my heartstrings and too numerous to detail. There was one, though, in particular, that really through gas on this reflection fire: A book of front pages from the NYTimes each August 14th for the past 70 years from two very dear friends:

The realization from simply scanning through the book (a deeper dive will be forthcoming), is how very little, if anything, has actually changed in these past 70 years. Progress that was seemingly made, changes that were made, seem to have been, at best, temporary, many of the changes that seemed to be positive have either disappeared into the ether, or worse, have regressed to being worse than before the changes were made.

The quest for power, to keep the masses under thumbs, to restrict access, to dictate thoughts, to “legislate” not freedoms, but restrictions. The proliferation of false information to rile up those who simply take the loudest voices to mean that “they know what they speak of” is no different in 2022, than it was in 1952. The scary part is that today, with access to platforms that have no balances, folks like Sen. McCarthy would likely be surging in popularity, ala Emperor DeSantis (are they really any different?) The even scarier part is that voices speaking the truth, loaded with verifiable facts are simply ignored. If Edward R. Murrow were around reporting today and was speaking about someone like DeSantis, as he did McCarthy, would he even be listened to? When Sen. Howard Baker asked, during the Watergate Hearings: “What did the President know, and when did he know it”, that created an upsurge in those, previously “loyal” to RM Nixon, to actually think about the problem and to take the right path. Today, when Liz Cheney asks essentially the same questions, she is shunned and ostracized by her very own compatriots.

But it’s not just political, it’s the feelings that have resurfaced, “you must believe in what I believe in, or your belief is simply wrong”, “you must love as I love because only I know what love means and how it looks”, “you cannot read items x, y and z because I’m worried you might actually think for yourself, instead of thinking they way I’m telling you to think” and on and on and on…

I have never been a big history buff, in high school, most of my history teachers (so old it was not called “social studies” back then, were also football coaches who were more interested in talking sports than actual history. During my undergrad years, the two history courses I was required to take were taught by gentlemen who hated teaching “required” courses and would simply read back to you what you had been assigned to read. However now, actually having a “history” I have become more interested in seeing what the one decent HS history teacher actually kept saying…”the only thing we learn from history is that we learn NOTHING from history”: Gabe Benisheck, Cardinal Spellman HS, 1969 [I know it’s a well worn phrase, but he was the first person I heard it from, along with another of his favorites…”I’m going to read to you from the NYTimes all the news that’s fit to tint” that should tell you something about HIS leanings….but he was free to express himself to us back then, all the while allowing and in fact, encouraging discussion with different viewpoints as long as we could back it up with facts, and I feel soooo lucky to have been educated by folks like that and in a system that allowed for that, even though it was a Catholic School…way different from the way they operate now in the same places as I grew up].

I now look back, not only on the past 70 years, but much, much further to see how the “elite” have always tried to keep the other 99% subjugated in one form or another. I spend more time shaking my head side to side than I do up and down.

I also have a legacy history now, kids and grandkids and would really like to think that I have done something to leave them in a better situation when the train rolls into the station “When all is said and done”….it’s upsetting that it seems to have regressed and not moved forward in so many ways…yet there is always hope and always the chance to keep working to make things better…

Time….Time…..Time….it’s what you make it I guess….

Wow…I have been off kilter for a while..no reason, just was, maybe still am a bit. However, I do have a lot to say about the past few weeks, so here goes.

After returning from Dave Sloan’s celebration of life we had about a month and change of not too much. I did play a pretty good round of golf three weeks back, first time since my trip to NC in March, played pretty well, but the bigger thing was I played alone and after the cataract surgery was able to see the flight of the ball for the first time in what seems like forever. Then the final planning for our trip back to CT this time, a vacation of sorts (I know, that’s tough to swallow when being retired is like being on a permanent vacation). We were loaded with events on the calendar and they all proved to be fun and tiring at the same time.

First off: We found the BEST pet/house sitter so that really was a relief after the less than satisfactory person we used back at Thanksgiving. Then the drive to Savannah Airport was laughably simple and quick, parking a few hundred feet from the terminal even easier and get this….10 days parking, a total of $47….yup that’s it…Both of us have TSA pre check so that was easy as well, then there is a small “club” we waited in out of the main flow. Avelo airlines, new, non stop, no frills but terribly efficient. We ran into none of the horrible delays that many are experiencing. The flight took off on time, less than 2 hours in the air, landing in New Haven, the Turo rental car seemlessly delivered to us, and off to Wilton

We arrived at Tori’s and shortly after set out for dinner at Luc’s in Ridgefield (another favorite that we miss). We were joined by Laura, Tracy, and Amy and it was as good as we could have hoped. The next day was spent relaxing, running some errands including something else we really, really miss down here…a fabulous pedicure…there are a million places here in Bluffton/HH but NONE come even close to our old favorite in Wilton, that was a very pleasant way to spend the afternoon. Leg massage/chair massage etc.. Then one of the big reasons for the trip..Tori’s 60th birthday celebration at Rowayton Seafood arranged by our “guy” Josh and up in the Crow’s Nest. The food, the company and the wine were wonderful and flowing…Same folks as at Luc’s with the addition of Jill, Nelle, Paul and Dan.

Wednesday after a morning of “recovery” (Nelle graciously went to Uncle Leo’s to get Bagels and BEC sandwiches for breakfast), we headed up to Jill’s house where she opened her fabulous pool along with Bloodies and laughs and music. That evening was punctuated with dinner at Bailey’s Backyard in Ridgefield another fabulous afternoon and evening. We then headed down to Silvermine where we checked into the Inn at Grey Barns for the remainder of our stay. They now have three “apartments” over the Mercantile that were perfect for us. Comfortable, well equipped, washer/dryer and convenient!

Thursday we both went for long walks enjoying the fact that while it is summer and it is hot in CT, it is NOT like being hit in the face with a soaked beach towel the way it is in SC at this time of year, that led to may great remembrances of why we liked CT…the incredible charm of the old homes, walking on roads that we carriage roads a few hundred years ago, rock walls that in some cases are even older than the roads and just a special feel. We were scheduled to have dinner that night with another couple at the Tavern at Grey Barns however, Covid did rear it’s ongoing ugly head and they were unable to attend due to one having tested positive, so Tori pinch hit and, yet another wonderful meal was enjoyed by all, along with their spectacular cocktails and wines.

Friday again began with another great neighborhood walk in Silvermine and then dinner at the Cottage in Wesport with Pat Rosen. More great food, more great wine, more great catching up…

Saturday…I had the great pleasure to spend a few hours with one of the best guys on the planet…WineBob and then as if it couldn’t get any better.Tori threw another party keeping the birthday vibe going at her house. More laughs, gin, tonic, wine, music, laughs, herbal items.

Sunday: A slow morning, some Fred and then off to NJ to spend the day with Drew, Vicki, their girls Maeve, Ryleigh, Ellie, and Kate, Jon and their daughter Mara. We spent the afternoon at Drew/Vicki’s swim club where Sue got to use the slide and the diving board, and were we found that Ellie (the youngest of the lot) , is so water infatuated that I think she should be on a surfboard NOW!!…fearless and full of wonder. Then it was off to a local brewery to wrap up the day with pizza and various beverages. Talk about sensory overload…I think my age did show up for the first time that day…while the rest of the gang was waiting on a long line for ice cream after dinner, I slid across the street to Starbucks for some coffee as I was still facing the drive back to CT and was dragging…(yup old…) Having young children is a young person’s game…glad I was young when I did it…It was a hoot!! (but exhausting)

Monday the show kept moving…we went to Elm Street Oyster house in Greenwich for lunch and had a great time with Ashley and Dan and Krista who we also miss terribly…(yes, there were Bloodies involved)..then off to Greenwich Prime Meats for some Salad and Onions and shrimp for dinner and Laura and Tracy joined in and we sipped wine (notice the themes here..) and talked and laughed…

Tuesday was the wrap party so to speak…we went to lunch at Overton’s (another waterfront Norwalk institution) did laundry and got set up for the next day of travel. Then with Tori along, we went down to Port Chester, had a great dinner at a little Italian gem (TandJ’s ) a half block from the Capitol Theater where we were headed to see Counting Crows that night. What a fabulous show and an incredible wrap to an amazing trip…the opener, btw, Stephen Kellogg was incredible as well…no clue why I’ve never heard him before but I will certainly listen now. It was round midnight by the time we actually got to bed.

Wednesday morning…8/3…5 AM alarm….our 20th anniversary (talk about poor planning…)…off to Tweed New Haven airport…again a seamless trip…flight actually landed about 20 minutes early, was only 2/3 full, we had the row to ourselves, took less than 15 minutes to get our bags and then another hysterically simple drive back. Realizing we were in no shape to go out to dinner, we opted to pick up a steak on the way home (I grilled it and we barely stayed awake)…however I did open a very special bottle of wine…in their entire history, Silver Oak has only made the wine they call SIX 4 times, I was lucky enough to get a bottle the last time they did make it (a 2014 vintage), it made the journey from CT to SC safely and thought yesterday the appropriate day to open it…it was simply spectacular…and a wonderful way mark a very special anniversary…(yes, Mr. Clemmons…when life gave us a choice we drank the good wine).

So, some reflections on this trip…while we are incredibly grateful for what we have and what we have been able to do this past year, we both continue to realize that there are plenty of people/places/experiences/events we miss terribly…the original goal was to be able to live in two places going back and forth seasonally taking in the best of both, unfortunately the realities of life and careers as two teachers kinda put the kibosh on that. So we will continue to enjoy what we have and explore ways to visit and have visitors and spend as much time as we can making each moment special.

This is a big 12 month period….Sue: 60, me 70 in 10 days, Us 20 yesterday…damn, time flies…

Today, SCOTUS ruled 6-3 against gun safety…just let that sink in for a minute.

The incredible two faced statements (and yes, this brings in the likely overturn of Roe v. Wade) about states having the right to make critical decisions (and yes, we also know what “states rights” is a euphemism for) yet, in this case, what they did was the exact opposite of even that. The ruled that the NY STATE law placing restrictions on carrying handguns outside the home was NOT a choice NY could make.

THIS ruling, during a time where the majority of the nation is behind some sort of increased firearm safety is like the 6 of 9 flipping their collective middle fingers at the nation. Blood is still fresh from one of the most recent school massacres yet, these self important baboons have decided that NY does not have the state’s right to limit handgun carry. Explain that to me please.

Let’s recap here…highly trained and armed professional law enforcement officers in Uvalde, Texas took a long time to enter a building where ONE person in body armor had an assault rifle and was massacring elementary school children and teachers, yet, from on high, they rule it’s ok to allow more opportunity to carry weapons. Explain that to me please.

The NRA has bought and paid for enough legislators to prevent any substantial move forward toward safety to line their own pockets, basically 10-12 people are holding a nation of 329.5 MILLION people hostage on this. If we were even split 50-50 on this issue (and we are not….not by a long shot) that would mean those 12 people speak for .000008% of the population. For those who sat on the OJ jury where the DNA evidence numbers were similar in how small a probability there was that he didn’t do it, by any concept this number rounds to ZERO…think on that and Explain that to me please.

We live in a time where a coup was attempted and damn near succeeded, and those involved are still working like crazy to make sure it does happen again. We are closer to a Theocracy (looking at you here Amy C-B) than we are to a Democracy and yet, while anything resembling common sense and clarity and very, very exact pieces of evidence, written, video, verbal have been presented, those same bought and paid for folks are the diametric opposites of the representatives from the last similar run only 50 years ago. Folks who then put their nation and their democracy ahead of their own selfish motives. We don’t seem to be in that place any longer. Explain that to me please.

I don’t get it…and I’m afraid for this nation, for my children, for my grandchildren. It’s not too late but I don’t know how we get past this and survive. Explain THAT to me please.

There is no discussion, there is no sharing ideas and thoughtfully evaluating different opinions. What, exactly have we, as a nation, even as a planet, become?

There was a time, not that long ago, where GOP leaders came out against their President, and called for him to leave office due to the evidence, it was not based on party lines it was based on humanity and the willingness to do the right thing. Was it tough? I’m sure it was. Politically dangerous? Most certainly. But it was the thoughtful, correct move to try bring a rapidly dividing nation on the path to some semblance of unity.

Today, there is none of that, there is a quest for power, a need to control, no exchange of ideas, only exchanges of insults. Bodies are strewn about almost daily, much of it preventable. This latest murderer exhibited all the classic signs and they were ignored, yet, at 18, not old enough to buy beer, he was able to buy an assault weapon and devastate families in a small community, as well as many in the nation who simply watched the story unfold.

The reactions have been as suspected…outrage by those who have worked and continue to work to try to fix this. Entrenchment and “thoughts and prayers” from those who see this issue as a unilateral “right”, the same folks who would criminally charge women for making an individual choice will continue to allow, in fact encourage by their inaction, multiple murder scenarios over and over and over.

There are paths to solutions, but when the path is continually blocked, and as Steve Kerr so eloquently stated, we, as a nation, are being held hostage by 50 people…think about that….the entire population of this nation is being “ruled” not by one monarch but by 50 mini monarchs. Oh…and the same people who scream about the constitution seem to be totally willing to ignore the system of “checks and balances” among the branches buy loading the third branch, SCOTUS, with not a balanced group, but with the same power thirsty, life time position mini monarchs.

If even a little balance on both sides is not regained, I’m terribly afraid that my fading years will be spent observing the catastrophic collapse of what once was so ripe with promise.